Mother Nature, I love you. Some of your children, however, are extremely difficult to muster any affection for. I realize that your intent is not to be sinister, but your dark sense of humor can really wear a person out. (I know several students who would agree with me.)
For instance, what’s with all the creepy vultures and demented hyenas? I mean, sure, they perform a certain function in the complex ecological system that you’ve manifested. I just wonder why they have to be so darn persistent in their pestering.
I really wish you’d intercede on my behalf once in a while and tell them to go stand in the corner so that I can get on with becoming the person I’m meant to be without having to worry about their salivating beaks and drooling incisors.
I’m not usually one to make threats, but if you don’t do something about this problem I might be forced to call that British nanny I’ve seen on TV. And, if it still continues after that, I’ll be getting my own top-of-the-line pellet gun. But, please, don’t make me go there. At heart, I’m just a lover.
Resistance: a pack of hungry, hovering scavengers
Despite my pleas, Mother Nature has failed to take any action. I’m left, like all of us are, to deal with this major, ever-present annoyance alone. Actually, it’s more than an annoyance; it’s a trap—get caught in it for too long and your aspirations are dead meat.
It’s called resistance. It’s the fear of success, the fear of actually following through on your plans and bright ideas and making good things happen for yourself.
It’s an invisible force, but I prefer to give it the ugly face it deserves. The better I can visualize it, the better I can do something about it.
The vultures of resistance are always circling. They fill you with worry. You might really be a lion, but they will manipulate you into believing that you’re just a weak little mouse. They will do whatever is necessary to wear you down, to make you cower and rot so that they can feast on your dying dreams.
The vultures can be especially fierce when they spot people that want to improve their lives through higher education. Would-be college students often make for easy prey. It isn’t very hard to find “reasonable” excuses for avoiding your personal growth when you’ve trained yourself to listen to the intimidating taunts of desperate scavengers.
Vultures of the past make for rotten teachers
I’ve got plenty of practice at cowering before the butt-ugly beasts of resistance. My past experiences as a student have brainwashed me to the point that resistance is now my default state of being.
I am actually afraid of succeeding at the ambitions that are most important to me.
It started long before college. Halfway through the school year, in Grade 8, I became the new kid again. (I had started the year as the new kid in a different state.) It was uncomfortable, but I didn’t run into much trouble. That is, until I started to shine academically and received almost-sickening praise from my teachers—in front of the entire school.
At a mandatory assembly, I listened as one of my teachers recited a glowing introduction about a mysterious student of merit. Then, my name was called. This sequence happened at least five different times. I had to keep walking back and forth from my place at the back of the bleachers to the podium in the middle of the gymnasium. Each time, I received a fake-gold medal and a certificate that recognized me as the top student in a particular subject.
I don’t know why they didn’t just keep me at the podium. It was ridiculous. My algebra teacher even invited me to represent the school in a regional math competition—there’s nothing like being put on the spot before hundreds of classmates.
Admittedly, though, the recognition felt good. I had some real mojo.
One morning not long after that assembly, I walked confidently through the crowded halls on my way to English class. I had been up late the night before working on a book report I had to present. About ten steps from the door to the classroom, my face ran into a freight train—someone’s giant fist. It came out of nowhere.
I stumbled backwards. Then, I looked around to see who the jerk was that made my head go numb. It was impossible to tell. Everybody looked normal, as if nothing had happened.
Later, as I presented my book report, I witnessed only snickers between my classmates. At lunch, I learned what their problem was; they didn’t like me. My success made them look bad. Thus began a daily tradition of taunts and intimidation.
They called me names I can’t repeat. They pointed in my direction and laughed. They formed circles around me and would stare and stare until they spotted someone of authority.
It seemed like the whole school was against me—all because I cared about learning, working hard, and discovering my potential. Were these really such bad things?
Vultures are relentless and have no mercy
The vultures in my life criticized my dreams. They judged me for growing into the person I wanted to become. The hyenas cackled and bullied, poking fun at my talents and turning my passions against me.
I mined the deepest parts of my being for the courage to push on.
Today, I still have vultures circling above me. They don’t take the form of real people nearly as much, but they do make me hesitate—a lot. Resistance is a major part of my everyday life.
For instance, the moment I touch my keyboard with the intention of writing, I can smell the rotten breath of the vultures. The hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, waiting for the scavengers to defecate on my head should I dare to write something bold.
Viewed from this perspective, writing is probably the worst profession I could have chosen. It’s just my thoughts, my fears, and me. It’s one good sentence followed by one hundred moments of terror. For the most part, I don’t write because I enjoy it; I write because I feel worse if I don’t.
I feel guilty and get angry with myself if I back down and give the vultures and hyenas the satisfaction of watching me cower. That doesn’t mean I don’t back down, however. Nope, I do so frequently.
I can’t go a day without having a good idea and then struggling to follow through with it. Every time I feel that I am onto something positive—something that will propel my writing, my art, my career, or my life forward—I get a powerful urge to run away.
As soon as I start avoiding the work I want be doing, a vicious cycle begins. The more I avoid, the weaker I feel and the louder and more sinister the vultures and hyenas become as they close in around me, waiting for the kill.
I start to believe their lies. I start to believe that my growth and success will cause nothing but loss—of my friendships, of my job, of my reputation.
It seems like a trap that is impossible to escape.
How to avoid becoming dinner
The scavengers are scary and obnoxious and conniving jerks, but they can be dealt with.
Resistance is powerful, but it’s not the dominant force in the universe; expansion is. Expansion is the natural state of our inner selves. We are all meant to change and grow in unique and profound ways, to expand our limits.
Vultures and hyenas are cruel and desperate to feed on you because, at heart, they are jealous creatures. They wish they had the courage to break free of the pack and become lions instead of lowly scavengers that must stick together in their misery to have any power. Their survival depends on sick, distorted groupthink that often has no real basis in reality. It’s why they can believe that they are rising when all they are really doing is causing others to sink.
Although it might feel otherwise, the presence of vultures is often a strong indication that you are onto something really good. They are attracted by the fear that is a natural symptom of deciding to go after the things that help you grow.
When they show up, you can stop in your tracks and make yourself smaller. Or, you can invite them to your party.
Music, as they say, tames the beast. This is what I turn to when I can’t break free of the trap of resistance. I find the most inspiring, upbeat ear candy in my music collection and crank it.
Then, if I’m at home alone, I dance. Actually, it’s more like thrashing about in a chaotic series of random movements. Sometimes I find the rhythm. Most often, I don’t. It doesn’t matter. I shake, shake, shake—the sillier, the better.
The idea is to counteract the squawking, snorting, and high-pitched cackling of the vultures and hyenas as they circle. Think about it: vultures need feathers to fly. The more you can get them dancing, the more feathers they shake off until they can no longer stay aloft. (And have you ever seen their pathetic hopping?) Hyenas just grow tired, punchy, and mostly harmless.
Sadly, dancing and cranking loud music is not easily done in a professional office environment, classroom, or study hall. I guess that’s what headphones and subtle bobs of the head are for—I use them daily. It’s better than nothing.
My point is that resistance can be overcome if you’re willing to have some fun. Anything that prevents you from over-thinking and gets your positive energy flowing is a good thing.
Taking your gaze away from the vultures makes it easier to recognize the helpful people and ideas and opportunities that are attracted to that energy.
But, when the vultures have really got me down, I supplement my dancing by turning to one of my favorite quotes, an oft-repeated passage from author Marianne Williamson:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
People who know me well will be shocked that I like this quote because I don’t usually care for the G-word. Still, I believe, nobody has ever said it better.
Vultures and hyenas don’t wear sunglasses. Blind them with your light.
